Life!

One of the basic principles in life is the principle of opposition in all things. It's the part of the plan that teaches us how it's possible to have joy because we have known pain. Where am I going with this; this week we experienced pain, last week we experienced joy. With those two events we found "joy in the journey".

Baby Morgan was born last Saturday, August 21, 2010 and weighed a mere 6 lbs 2 oz and measured 18 1/2 inches. She made her entrance at 3:37 in the afternoon to loving parents, Jamie and Rachel (Zollinger) Moroz. I'm writing this for Morgan so she doesn't ever feel lost in the shuffle of Trevor's accident.

Morgan joins the previous 23 grandchildren. Alex, the oldest, has already grown to manhood as he will be 18 yrs old in October. Where has time gone? We have all shapes, sizes and ages. We have blonds, brunettes and a red head. We have blue eyes, brown eyes and hazel eyes. And we love them all. We even had the wonderful privilege of adding one to our family who came to us ready made and became a legal Zollinger several years ago. It was fun to see his excited face when he walked into Lake Ridge Elementary to make the announcement to his grandma, who worked in the office, so she could change his records; Alexander Forbes ZOLLINGER. We've been so very lucky that for the most part they are all healthy. Even the smallest ones who came early have grown to healthy stature. Only one little one did not stay with us for more than a half and hour. Michae Shae Zollinger was born at just 5 1/2 months and she left us; she didn't need to stay longer, she had accomplished all she needed to.

The miracle of life never ceases to amaze me and I will never tire of watching newborns enter this world. The greatest miracle, and the one I want to point out to each of my grandchildren is this. You were born at this time, in this country, in our family because you are one of our Heavenly Father's choicest, most valiant, most prepared for the battle. He saved you to be here right now...this is YOUR time.

Choices are always difficult; remember the law of opposition is in play. However, the choice to trust in Him makes all of those choices easier. I will end this by listing all of you by name and tell you how much we love each of you; your humor, your obnoxiousness, your antics, we love it all and the challenges you bring. So here it goes and I hope I don't forget anyone.

Amy (Zollinger) and Duane Mortensen's Family

Alexander Duane

Gabriel Michael

Samuel Alton

Andrew Bryant

Danielle Yvonne

Josephine Elizabeth

Michael Zollinger's Family

Micha Shae

Taylor Jo Gibbons

Sara (Zollinger) and Matt Nagel

Miles Thomas

Owen Michael

Harper Eugene

Henry Stanton

Scott and Lisa Zollinger's Family

Alexander Forbes Zollinger

Cassadee Janae

Kari Rochelle

Alicia Zollinger's Family

Trevor Willard

Kyle Scott

Charley Marie Pustyak

Rachel (Zollinger) and Jamie Moroz Family

Luke Manning Zollinger Moroz

Emily

Morgan

Kent- still waiting, get a move on

Jana (Zollinger) and Christopher Escobar's Family

Alivia Victoria Zollinger

Sophia Ann Zollinger

Isaac Enrique

And there you have it! Welcome baby Morgan, I know you'll add to the excitement; can't wait to see who you become!

For Trevor

Wednesday, 1 September 2010- This first part of today's journal is all about me! You know my hip has been causing me lots of grief over the past several months and I've made lots of visits to the chiropractor and then the orthopedic doctor. I've been pushed, pulled and twisted like a pretzel. I've had a procedure done on the hip that was so painful that I'd rather have had a baby. THAT is not an exaggeration! Lying on a rock hard table on your back is not the best position for someone with a bad hip. Add to that the dye they inject to the joint and the pressure it causes, a painful pressure I might add; let's just say an arthrogram is now on my list of "you'll have to knock me out first" procedures. At least it allowed us to see that the hip, while hip dysplasia isn't a good thing, was not injured but the joint was really inflamed; don't know why. I was given a pain shot which allowed me to function pretty much pain free for several weeks. The good new; I was able to walk on the treadmill. The bad news; just because you don't have pain, you shouldn't work like everything is normal and overdo. Apparently, I overdid it and I'm paying for it now. I've been in a lot of pain for the last few weeks and it's taken its toll i.e sleepless nights, not as much fun camping because I couldn't do all the fun camping things, worrying about what it would mean to our mission.

Today I went back in to the hospital for another shot to the hip. Before I went in I took some meds to help with the pain. I told the doctor who sent me in for the shot, "Make me happy, I want drugs!" Well, I got drugs; vallium to make me calm and hydrocodone to relieve the pain. While the vallium did space me out a little, the hydrocode made me nauseated and I spent the rest of the day just really sick. The pain shot to the hip; just as painful as the first procedure! They told me the relief could last up to three months. Now I've learned from the first time not to overdo, but at the same time I will have it in the back of head, pain from walking or pain from shot? So visiting you today was miserable for me but how could I not?

Grandpa and I went to the hospital around 5pm because your surgery was scheduled for 6pm. Upon arrival we found out that the time was changed to 7:30pm. They prepped you for surgery and I won't tell you much of what they did. Suffice it to say that in order to have a clean lower system they assisted you by giving you a solution placed by tube where "the sun don't shine!" And we got a chuckle as Kyle asked, "Is that the stuff in the bag what they're putting in or the stuff they got out?" I just learned another use for molasses! Yes, I said molasses! Finally, they wheeled you out with your entourage in tow and we parted company after saying our goodbyes and good lucks. We got a call from the surgical nurse that they had to reinsert the NJ and surgery didn't start until 8:30pm. We groaned because if it was to take 2-4 hours then it was really going to be a long night. Your mom fell asleep folded in half with her head in her lap (I have no idea how she did THAT)! I tried to rid myself of my ever present nausea by laying in the fold out chair bed. After awhile your mom, Grandpa, Kyle and Amy (who'd come to sit with us), left me alone in the room. A doctor came into the room at 9:30pm and I thought he was there to give us a report. It was the surgeon and he came to tell us the operation was done! WOW!

So here's what they did. First let me backtrack and tell you that you neck had been earlier cleared of injury and if you wanted to you could take off the neck brace. You didn't want to; more comfortable for your jaw to keep it on. Anyway, they put in two small stainless steel plates, one on each side of the break. They put rubber bands on your existing braces to keep it all in place so that meant no wiring your jaw together. As far as the NJ tube, we're a little confused who told us they had to replace it because that wasn't the case. You were in a lot of pain but after they got you settled they would give you more meds. We left you in good hands and even your mom was comfortable about leaving you to go home to a real bed to get some much needed sleep. She did, however, ask your grandpa to stay with you. He was a much willing volunteer! Grandpa would move the heavens for any of his family who needed him so it wasn't much of a sacrifice; he loves you so!

When I got home, I found it difficult to shake the nausea. I think I'll opt out of using the hydrocode from here on out and put up with the remainder of the pain from the injection. It should all be good by tomorrow.

Thursday, 2 September- I was up by 7am and tried to write the above entry but it became clear that I was still suffering from a car sick type nausea so I left it undone and went back to bed. I just woke up (10:30am) and feel a little better but will now leave my part of the story to share some really good news.

I called Grandpa and he says you woke up at 2:30am and played video games and watched t.v. He says later in the morning you wanted to get up and go for a wheelchair ride but they couldn't find a wheelchair. The best news is they removed the feeding tube (NJ) and you sipped your first liquid from a straw; Gatorade. Next they'll try some clear soup. You've been taken off some of the other monitors so you're a little freer to move around. They are trying to get you home by this afternoon and into the care of your family. So I'll put this writing aside and try to make ready for your return and the lines of friends and well wishers that will be here. And I'm sure you'll do your best with those puppy dog eyes to put on a show for the girls!

I don't know if you really understand why you sit here this day. I'll do my best to remind you. You received two Priesthood blessings; one shortly after you got into your room and one the day before the surgery. Both times the blessing stated that a) you would heal quickly and fully and b) that your caregivers would be prompted to know what to do. Is there any doubt that those two things have, indeed, come to pass? I say, "NO! There is no doubt! To the very core of my being, without reservation, I say to you now. I know you are here, alive, because of the power in the hands of the men who gave that blessing. Here is another thing I want you to know. We pray for our family everyday that each of you will hold fast to the things you've been taught, that you will remember who you are and why you are all so special. Trevor, I would leave you with the reminder that your talents, your quality to make those around you (well, maybe mostly your friends and not so much your family) feel special. You were blessed to be especially smart. Every one of those gifts come from a loving and ever present Father in Heaven. He has, perhaps, used this knock on the head to remind you of your duties. You need to fulfill your promises (covenants) to Him to take full advantage of all the blessings He has in store for you. Don't waste anymore time harboring feelings of anger towards those who you feel have let you down. Relish in the joy of those around you who fill your life with their love. More than that, begin anew to rebuild a loving relationship with your mom, brother and sister. Dedicate yourself to being the kind of family you always say you want. Do your part to make it happen. I would encourage you to go morning and night and give thanks for all that you have and use this experience to refocus on that which is important; getting back home to Him. I'm looking forward to seeing where each of us will go from here. On Monday Grandpa and I leave for the mission home. I know we'll leave you in good hands. How do I know? I've prayed it so! I love you...INFINITY!

For Trevor

Tuesday, 31 August 2010- Well, it was with some disappointment that we got to the hospital so we could spend some time with you before you went to surgery to repair your jaw. They postponed it because you're still a little unstable with your feedings and nausea. The really cool thing is that earlier in the day Kyle told your mom that he didn't feel right about the surgery happening today. When your mom met with the nurses they told her that the surgeon didn't feel right about the surgery happening today. Coincidence or the Hand of God? You did receive a blessing that your caregivers would know what to do. So now your surgery has been rescheduled for tomorrow evening. It will be another late night.

Today we didn't get up to the hospital until around noon and when we arrived you were more awake than you've been in the last four days. You had more people visit today too. Grandma, Cherie, Dean and Rene came and spent several hours with you as well as Kris and Emily Gould and Diane Pollock. You were more yourself and that was wonderful to see. Earlier Grandpa and I got you into a wheelchair and took you to the Forever Young room. Years ago when Steve Young was a star quarterback at BYU and the San Francisco 49ers he donated money to build a play area for patients at PCMC. It's really cool. The first thing you did was challenge Grandpa to a game of Foosball. He had to play with one hand just like you and

you did beat him. After awhile we moved to the video game area and you tried to play a Sims game. It was disappointing that the computer didn't work. We headed back to the room but we detoured a little because I wanted to show you something. What I showed you made your eyes light up and you were, for a moment, in heaven. We wheeled you up to one of the most beautiful baby grand pianos with gleaming white and black keys. It took about thirty seconds for you to go from Mary Had a Little Lamb to Phantom of the Opera. In fact you took your injured arm out of the sling enough to use both hands. What a treat to hear you play again and I felt sorry for the times I asked you to stop playing so loud. I wanted you to play so the whole world could hear. Your eyes reflected the biggest smile your heart could send. Yes it was a good day! Tomorrow will be the real start of your healing and you will continue to be the recipient of many prayers. I love you...INFINITY!

For Trevor

When your Uncle Scott was in his car accident, rather than sit and do nothing during his recovery I started to keep a record of all the things that were going on and how I felt. His journal is hand written and after more than ten years, it still needs to be typed so it can be read. The following journal will be yours so you can know what we were feeling and watching unfold. So, I'll start at the beginning...

Friday, 27 August 2010- I want to start by saying, that very night I dreamed the accident happened! I dreamed that someone ran in and said, "Trevor was hit by a car." However, it wasn't so much about the accident as it was the feelings I had of, "Do we need to postpone our mission?" I was left with the clear impression that you would be fine if we left. When I woke up to the phone ringing and having your grandpa yell, "Let's go, Trevor just got hit by a car!" I was able to move calmly and quickly. If it weren't for that calm feeling I had, I would have probably fallen to pieces. By the time I got to the corner where you cross 3500 South to go to school your grandpa was already at your side doing what he does so well; all of his combat medic training kicked in and he was assessing your injuries. You were conscious but clearly out of it. You did know who we were but you didn't know what happened. You had major lacerations about the scalp and chin and some bleeding at the mouth. By the time the ambulance arrived, it was clear that you had some other injuries as well. After they loaded you on the ambulance it was decided to airlift you to Primary Children's Medical Center because they knew traffic would make it difficult to get to the hospital with any speed. From the time you were hit to the time we saw you lift off was about 30-45 minutes. The time it took for the whole school to know about the accident was a fraction of that! As I watched kids walking by the cell phones were a buzz with text messaging and calling. The time it took to make it to Facebook was not much more than the cell phones. You would also find it a boost to your ego that many of the girls stood around the halls of Matheson JH crying for you. I understand it got so bad that they had to cancel some of the classes and have discussion groups instead. I just thought you'd want to know...

At first glance, your injuries didn't look that bad, and relatively speaking they weren't but they were painful ones. Let me first tell you how the accident happened; well anyway, what we were told happened. A car was going East on 3500 South and had pulled into the turn lane to go left. The driver stopped to let you walk across. Unfortunately, another vehicle (a delivery truck about the size of a UPS truck driving in the thru lane) didn't see you and hit you with his driver's side mirror and part of the truck. You got smacked on the side of the head by a vehicle going 35mph. We don't know if you actually flew in the air; you were only about 10-15 ft outside of the crosswalk. You have an open fracture on your right jaw; open meaning the fractured bone came though your mouth. You also have a fractured right clavicle (shoulder). A bone in your neck (the hyoid) was fractured so swallowing will be an issue. You were in a lot of pain when they moved you to the stretcher.

When we arrived at Primary Children's Medical Center emergency room we were joined by Bishop and Cathy Sayer, Chris and Emily Gould, Uncle Michael, your Grandpa and Grandma Garza and some of your dad's family. Your Aunt Jill walked in with Cami and we were surprised to see them. As it turned out, Cami had an infection in her leg so it ended up with two Zollinger's in the ER.

After they completed all the xrays and scans and determined that your brain was OK they moved you to the NTU (Neuro Trauma Unit). After they got you settled, your Grandma Mike, Uncle Scott, Chris Gould and the Bishop gave you a blessing. You were blessed to heal quickly and fully. Now it's up to you to do your part to allow the blessing to be fulfilled.

Your head laceration was stapled in the ER and you had to have about 15 staples to close it. They had a tough time getting the wound to stay closed. Later, a plastic surgeon put in six or more stitches to the chin. I wondered how your braces were doing but there didn't seem to be any obvious problem with them.

You had lots and lots of company. You had people we didn't even know come to see you. It's probably best that you were on so many pain meds that you didn't have to worry about entertaining them. You did, however, make it a point of making sure the girls were entertained. The number of girl visits to boy visits was about 9-3 in favor of the girls. You are, after all, a ladies man!

Saturday-Monday, 28-30 August 2010- The steady flow of visitors kept you pretty awake but it took it's toll on your body. Your pain level has remained pretty high and they haven't been able to put anything in your stomach to keep you fed. They finally had to insert a feeding tube (NG) through your nose but you had a problem with it. The stuff they fed you made you nauseated and you threw up the liquid and the tube. You've had some pretty rough days. On Monday they took you down to a special room with a fluoroscope to insert a new tube (NJ) in a location past the stomach into the upper part of the intestine. It gives your stomach a chance to settle down. They also give you meds to help with the nausea.

A brief pause in the story to tell you how much we missed seeing you in the audience at church Sunday for our farewell talks. We had lots of friends and family there but you being absent left a very big hole. I'm told that we did an excellent job but I can't say; I don't remember much. We have to be at the MTC on the 6th of September so we want to spend as much time as possible taking care of you.

So, where was I? Oh, yea...on Monday night it was decided that you really needed to have your hair washed because it was so matted and full of dried blood. I know you well enough to say that you probably felt really yucky. They have a special little pool they put under your head so they can keep the water from the washing away from the rest of you. You should have opted for the shower instead. When we were done with the hair I moved the blanket and lo and behold, you were laying in about an inch of water! I guess the pool will leak when the patient can't be laid flat. The funny thing is that you didn't utter a word. You just laid there totally relaxed letting us fuss over the hair. Well, Grandpa helped get you out of bed and took you into the shower so you could enjoy a really good shower. I think being cleaned up helped your disposition a lot and got you ready for the next step; fixing the jaw. Tuesday, the 31st, they will take you to surgery to put a very small plate in your jaw to fix the fracture. It will take 2-4 hours to do, so, it will be another long day. We're not worried because you received another blessing from Grandpa, Chris Gould (who has become your best adult??? friend in the whole wide world), and Jim Balif one of your teachers from Lake Ridge Elementary who also happens to be a Bishop. I know it will be OK. I want to mention also, your orthodontist came to check out the braces and found no breaks. He was really surprised at that. What was surprising to us is just before he left he said that if you ever needed a blessing he would be happy to assist. I thought to myself, "We are so lucky to live in a place where blessings are a normal occurrence but more than that, we are blessed to have the priesthood power that makes it all possible."

I've been totally blown away by the outpouring of love and support of many, MANY friends and family members. I'm especially impressed by the number of teacher's who've come to see you. You are a well loved and respected member of our community. I'm filled with a sense of peace as we prepare to depart into the mission field. I know you'll have lots of people to love and take care of you as we would if we were here.

Trevor, I know you've had it pretty rough the last few years. You've harbored feelings of anger that your life hasn't been very fair. I want you to know that you're a very blessed young man. You are surrounded by so many people who love you. You are so talented and smart. Most of all, I KNOW that YOU KNOW you have a Heavenly Father who loves you. If you would allow yourself to feel His love you would then feel the peace that comes with that love. You have the Priesthood and with that comes the power to move mountains. You have had righteous men place their hands on your head to ask that your life be returned to normal; fully and quickly!

I believe in that power and pray as you are able to ponder all that's happened you will come to more fully believe it too. I will continue to pray for a full recovery. I love you...INFINITY!

Whew...what a ride!

From the last post to now has been a flurry of dental appointments, medical appointments, paperwork and interviews. We've been poked, prodded and had things put where, ahem, the sun don't shine. The final outcome is that while some parts of the human body go out of warranty soon after turning 60, they are still in good enough shape to go on a mission! Yahoo!!!

We are transitioning from army life (Mike finally retired April 1st) to home life to mission life in one quick six month period. Now we are in the middle of putting all those things we won't need into one room so the remaining occupants can have a space to call home.

When we made the final decision to go on a mission we researched the church's website pertaining to senior couples. There are lots and lots of opportunities to serve all over the world and while we are willing to go to any of those places, it comes down to what we can afford. We still have to maintain a home while paying for a mission. We made a call to the Retired Military Couple mission to see what that would entail and were quick to get on their list of people they wanted. With Mike's impressive resume (nursing, military, business, firefighter, teacher etc) we would be on any one's list of people to have on board. You notice I didn't include a resume of my own; totally riding on his coat tails!

Originally they had us slotted to serve at Fort Hood about an hour or so from where we were in Grand Prairie, Texas. I would have been thrilled to be back in Texas and get to see our friends, both army and church. Alas, it isn't to be. The cost of the mission went up drastically to about a thousand dollars more per month so it took us out of our budget range. Now they have us, if they get their wish, going to Camp Legeune, North Carolina. We'd would be fine with that since we've not seen that part of the country. I know it will be a different climate but hey, we survived Texas!

I've been fascinated by the process of placing senior couples. It's not the same as with the young missionaries. For seniors, they look at the couple and what talents they bring to the table and then essentially the mission puts in their request for that couple. While it's taken into account where the couple has requested to be, it all comes down to where the Lord wants you to be. Near as I can tell, the process hasn't failed yet!

We are excited, ready to go and with the only nervousness coming from our home not quite ready for our departure, we are completely at peace about embarking on this new adventure. Our testimonies are strong, we rely on the Lord to take care of our families in our absence and know "all is well, all is well"!

Let the adventure begin!!!!

Update

It's hard to give an update when I have no idea what we are doing! Going? Staying? Staying? Going? Either way I'll be fine.
In the Army way, our mobilization orders officially ended September 30. However, we got a set of AT (annual training) orders to keep us going for another couple of weeks. Then we received another kind of orders to keep us going for ANOTHER couple of weeks. I don't much care what the orders say as long as they say we're getting paid! The apartment is under lease and we still have a roof over our heads so we're not very worried about that. Basically, it would be nice to have orders that carry us until the boys end the semester. They still want to keep Mike until at least March but they would love to get a waiver and keep him until next September. The bottom line is that we'll continue to enjoy our surroundings for as long as they let us.
We hope to make the drive to Utah for Christmas. With two babies, one that I've NEVER seen (Isaac) and one that's grown alot since the last time I saw her at her blessing (Kari), I have alot of catching up to do. To add to our joy, Sara's baby (sex unknown) is due in just a few days. It will be nice to be all together even for a week.
So, until we know what we are doing, or better yet what the Army is doing, we'll just stay put!
Much love, VZ

Paranoid? I think not!

As a parent/grandparent, I watch with wonder at what is going on in our country and think to myself, who can survive? Yet, I am at peace with the knowledge of Who is in charge.

It wasn't so long ago that our generation (for the purpose of this article "their" means Grandpa Mike/Grandma Alice, "our" means Mike and Vicki and "your" means our children) looked at our parents and thought they were crazy in many ways; they didn't "get" our music, they didn't like our hair, they paid cash, they nosed into our business at school, etc. With age comes wisdom and as we grew older, what we perceived as crazy, turned into admiration, for we saw in our parents a moral compass that helped us eventually figure out who we were and what we wanted.

I know many of your generation think that your parents are sheep who blindly follow. Let me assure you, for most of us, nothing could be further from the truth. We do have our concerns, however, about where this generation is being led and by whom. So your perceptions of "conservative" miss the mark. We are terribly vigilant! We have seen, with our old eyes, what is happening and want to shake your generation and shout, till we are hoarse, "Where does this path lead? Do you see what you are giving up? Who will defend your rights when we of this generation are gone?

The word paranoia now creeps into conversations being held nationwide and young adults are again shaking their heads with the claim that we are paranoid. Again the mark is missed. We are vigilant! And we are sad, so sad, at what we watch unfold because we aren't vigilant enough.

I wish that words like liberal and conservative were gone from politics. I wish that we had elected officials who didn't think their job was more than a temporary position. I wish that we didn't have a nation so indebted to foreign nations that even our great-grandchildren will be dealing with it. I wish that we didn't have poor or hungry. I wish we didn't have homeless. I wish that our education was the best in the world. I wish the sick could be taken care of. That isn't liberal thinking! It's Christlike thinking. The problem is that Christlike people aren't in charge. We are in the latter days as foretold in the BoM.

I love to read, and I love to keep track of politics both world and domestic. I feel I have the intelligence to discern for myself what is praiseworthy and of good report. So, I was especially fascinated by the article I recently read in an LDS based magazine. I thought it important enough to share. Again, it is vigilance that motivates me to share this, not whacko paranoia!

http://www.ldsmag.com/ideas/090903disease.html